SURPRISINGLY LIGHT
"Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star at its rising and have come to do him homage.” – Mt 2:2
This Christmas, I received several gifts, but one stood out: sadness. It wasn’t wrapped or expected, but it came quietly after dinner on December 30th. While washing dishes, my dad turned to me and my mom and said, “Son, when you leave tomorrow, I’ll be leaving too.” His words caught me off guard. Puzzled, I asked, “What do you mean, Dad?” After a moment of silence, I inquired, “Are you talking about going home to God?” He hesitated, then replied softly, “Maybe.”
Earlier that evening, my mom had shared something with me. Since his 90th birthday in October, Dad has been reflecting on his life and death. She’d heard him quietly saying things like, “When I’m gone, my wife will have to take care of this herself,” while working in the garden.
Hearing my dad openly acknowledge his mortality made my heart sink. I wasn’t ready. Grief washed over me like a strong wave, reminding me of something I had reluctantly thought about. But two days later, during prayer, something unexpected happened. I asked for the grace to see my dad through Jesus’ eyes. In my imagination, I saw Jesus standing beside him at the sink, washing dishes. Jesus turned to me and said, “I’ve got him.” Then he looked at my mom and reassured me, “I’ve got her.” Finally, he turned back to me, meeting my gaze: “I’ve got you.”
At that moment, my sadness didn’t disappear, but it gained companions—peace and hope. I realized I didn’t have to carry my worries alone. When the time comes for my dad to leave, I will be deeply saddened. But now I trust the One who’s holding him—and all of us—in love.
We all search for something to guide us—a "star" to follow, like the Magi in today’s Gospel. Some stars in our lives burn out quickly, promising a lot but leaving us empty. Others, like the allure of money, power, or fame, shine brightly but blind us from seeing what truly matters.
The Magi’s star led them to something unexpected: a humble stable, a poor family, and a newborn baby lying in a manger. It wasn’t what they anticipated, yet this encounter changed everything. They left transformed, choosing to go home “by another way” (Mt 2:12).
Today, as we end the Christmas season, we celebrate Epiphany – Jesus is revealed as a light for all people. In a world filled with challenges, divisions, and uncertainties, his light invites us to look beyond appearances and let him guide us toward greater meaning and peace. Letting myself feel sad in Jesus’ presence is guiding my path in the coming days.
What “stars” are you following right now? How might you invite Jesus to guide your steps this year, perhaps in an area of your life where you feel uncertain or afraid?
Tri Dinh, SJ