The scars from that memory will always remain with me. However, it was not meant to hold me captive. It encourages me to grow and allow myself to be transformed by letting go and remaining open to His story for me.
Only when I give myself permission to just be, in silence and stillness, to merely let thoughts arise and pass rather than just giving in to the clamor of my inner dialogue and the voice of the false spirit or my addiction to busyness, I can begin to notice the voice of the Holy Spirit.
I resisted the idea that just sitting beside God and listening is the right decision when there’s work to be done. I resisted a commitment to one primary ministry because it would require me to sit and listen, like Mary.
I asked God to take away the angry reactions, the shyness, and the perfectionism. He did not instantly wipe these away, but instead, He allowed me to be imperfect as a way to draw me closer to Him through His mercy and compassion.