Signs
Signs. We are all looking for signs.
In today’s first reading, the Lord instructs Ahaz to “Ask for a sign from the LORD, your God; let it be deep as the nether world, or high as the sky” and Ahaz said he could not. It was too much to ask. Later in the reading Isaiah prophecies, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you this sign: the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall name him Emmanuel.”
In Ahaz’s fear, he cannot believe any of these words. To Ahaz the Lord is speaking in poetic prose and Isaiah in a far removed prophecy. In Ahaz’s capability of belief, none of these things can become true.
How often are we Ahaz? On the recent silent retreat at Mission San Luis Rey in November, Fr. Tri shared about his “practical atheism,” when someone believes in God but relies on himself. Ahaz’s posture is that of practical atheism. Not because Ahaz relies on himself, but does not believe in the goodness of the Lord. God wants to talk to us, wants us to ask for signs, wants us to rely on Him. He wants to give us His merciful love! But so many of us are scared to talk to Him. We do not believe He is a good God who is ready and willing to fulfill His promises.
The Emmanuel who Isaiah prophesies about does go as deep to the nether world when He “descends into Hell” and is high as the sky when He “ascends into Heaven.”
There are days I am like Isaiah proclaiming His goodness and sharing His promises, but in the darkness of Advent and darkness of anticipation, I forget His goodness. I am too scared to ask for God’s signs. I do not want to seem ungrateful or forgetful. I do not want to tempt or test God.
God is bigger than these worries! He already knows our fears and desires. Many people like Ahaz have come before us, and like Mary, He sends us His love through the people around us to remind us of His goodness.
In the final days of Advent, we may find ourselves like Mary or Ahaz. When we’re like Ahaz, can we lean into Him, to accept we are human and have doubts? When we share honestly with the Lord, our doubts can be transformed. We can also accept the days we are like Isaiah proclaiming His goodness. His good news is meant to be shared and water the seeds in ourselves and others. We can also accept the days we are like Mary, being invited into the gift of new creation dwelling within us.
These are the days we are close to the Lord, and He dwells in us. Everyday.
Today, what am I invited to accept? Is there any part of Mary or Ahaz within me I’m called to embrace?
Noreen Domingo