Love Moves Through Heartbreak
Recently, I was in a conflict with a loved one. The rift between us ran deeper than they knew. They should realize why our relationship feels disconnected, I thought, and they should find it in themselves to change. I told myself I could heal from the pain on my own. Maybe one day they’ll learn how terribly wrong they are. In reality, I mourned the loss of a relationship I once found joy and comfort in.
Over time, my hurt began to color the way I viewed them, how I spoke of them, and even how I viewed myself. At my core, I still longed to be in community with this person, but I no longer trusted them to love me. I became triggered by simple things they did. I began to view them and treat them as ignorant, stubborn, callous, and incapable of change. On their side, I was seen as combative, angry, and arrogant.
Our conflict finally came to a head one day, and our only option to preserve our community structure was to talk through our differences. Through that long and difficult conversation, we both were able to better see one another, be honest about the pain we felt, and share our perspectives. We were able to approach that conversation openly, as we both still wanted the relationship repaired. We were open to transformation. We began to recognize how our own actions and words impacted the other. We shared what we wished for our relationship moving forward. We committed to being better to one another. And we reached a place of forgiveness.
In our world, there is much division, heartbreak, and pain. I have wondered constantly about how we move forward– as families, as a community, as a country, and as human beings. And I believe the answer lives in a desire for shared community. It lives in the courage it takes to admit when we are wrong and to expand our view of the other.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted,” today’s Psalm says.
Perhaps God being close to our brokenheartedness means that the opportunity for greater Love is near. Change and transformation do not come out of times of comfort, but times of struggle.
What brokenheartedness and pain have I held on to? What pain does God long to hold for us and mend? How does God’s transformative love call me into greater community?
Krystelle Robeniol