Little Annunciations & Authenticity

“May it be done to me according to your word.” - Lk 1:38

The Annunciation is one of my favorite stories in Scripture. I have received many graces while praying with this passage, whether imagining myself in Mary’s shoes, or imagining being one of her best friends there with her witnessing the angel Gabriel relay God’s invitation to her. One of the things I love most about this story is that Mary makes the decision to say “yes” on her own. Mary is a young woman, living in an extremely patriarchal culture where she would have been expected to go to her father or fiance for permission to do just about anything. Mary knows that with saying “yes” to the invitation to bear the Son of God, to be an unwed pregnant woman, would mean incurring others’ doubts about her purity and virtue, possibly causing Joseph to call off their marriage, and even suffering violence for her perceived unchastity. But Mary, so full of grace and so true to herself, chooses to say yes on her own terms because of trust in her own sense of God.

Her example feels especially relevant to me lately. I have been struggling with worrying about others’ perceptions of me, comparing myself to others, wanting to be seen as impressive, and just sometimes just wishing that something outside myself would tell me exactly what to do, what to feel, etc. Discerning God’s small whispering voice is so hard sometimes, and I worry about failing or not being perfect. But Mary’s simple, grounded way is one of unshakeable authenticity and trust in God’s unconditional love, not of perfectionism. She is a role model of never doing things out of fear of what others will think. Her focus is always on God and returning to her truest identity as a beloved child of God, with whom God has “found favor”. I imagine it is from following Mary’s example that Jesus learns to stand confidently in his own identity of “I am who I am”.

There have been times in my life when I have had my own little “annunciations”, or senses of God calling me to something. Lately I keep sensing a deeper invitation to be true to myself, and to trust in my own sense of God’s gentle leading. I recognize that often when I sin or fail to act with authenticity and integrity, it’s out of fear or concern with the way I’m seen by others, than with letting myself rest in the peace of God’s loving gaze. If I could just choose to rest in God’s loving gaze, seeing me and loving me exactly as I truly and fully am, perhaps I would more easily be able to say “May it be done to me according to your word” (Lk 1) or “Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will” (Ps 40).

Are there little “annunciations” that I can recall or that I have sensed God speaking in my life recently? How do I feel moved to respond? Are there fears that get in the way of saying “yes”? How might I take steps into being more authentically myself during this Lenten season?

Jessica Gerhardt

Photo credit: Henry Ossawa Tanner

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