WOUNDED HEALER
If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. - Lk 9:22-25
Reflecting on today’s gospel, I am struck in awe by the depth and faithfulness that Jesus asks of his followers. It challenges me to consider my commitment to following Jesus this Lenten season. Am I truly willing to deny myself, take up my cross daily, and follow him, even if it means putting my desires and comforts aside? How do my actions and choices reflect my desire to follow Jesus more closely?
While serving on retreat about a month ago, I wrote on my candle: My wounds are your wounds. As I listened to each person's story unfold in my group, I felt each person touched upon a wound in my history. It reminded me of what one of my instructors mentioned when asking people what matters most at the end of life, and it is usually the names of the people they love most that matter. My instructor also shared the four simple statements that can be a vessel of healing at any time of our lives: Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.
Relationships give meaning to our lives yet can also be a potential source of suffering. Choosing love can be challenging, especially when it means forgiving someone who has deeply hurt us. I have learned that it does not mean making excuses for one's behavior or forgetting the person that has hurt me, and how much more it has to do with remembering and opening my heart to God in full awareness that I have been wounded and can still feel it. It is about myself rather than the person being forgiven and accepting a past that cannot be changed while also recognizing that my past does not need to control my future. And when I allow God to meet me in my vulnerability, I allow God's embrace and tenderness to raise me into a new way of living and loving. Choosing life means choosing to love God and the people around us and asking myself, "What is the most loving thing I can do at this moment?"
Lord, give me the courage to reexamine my commitment to You. Please help me follow you more closely and to know that change is inevitable, yet growth is a choice to bring new life out of the darkness this Lenten season.
Tam Lontok