God, I Trust in You
It is finally time, nearing the end, as I count down the weeks and days left of the arrival of our first-born son. In the past few months, my husband had been asking, “What if he doesn’t believe?” and “What if he leaves the church?” Countless times, I have found myself doubting, worrying, and fearing the future because of the stresses of life, but I am reminded by many of the gifts that God has given me that I do not need to be afraid, and I can trust in Him, like in today’s Gospel. There are so many things I can worry about, but for the past 8.5 months, this gift of life that I carry has caused me to slow down and opened my eyes and heart to the love that God has for me. I realized that I only needed to trust in Him and simply follow.
This Lenten season, I desired to undertake something more meaningful, to prepare myself in a way that not only betters myself but also shows my child what it means to follow God's will and trust in Him. I had already been doing a daily rosary, and most of my spare time had been focused on preparing for our son. I was lost on what I should give up for Lent this year. On the day before Ash Wednesday, I found myself searching online for what to give up for Lent this year. Within a few minutes, I found the answer, as if it was God’s will. I stumbled across a website that listed ways to sanctify Lent as a pregnant mom. I saw the 4th option, which read Pope Francis’s “verbal fast” from “hurting words, complaints, bitterness” and immediately I knew that was it. I not only desired to fast from this but also desired to continue to fast from these beyond the Lenten season, and hopefully, to show my child how I live my faith. The website was linked to an image that I saved on my phone as a screensaver as a reminder of the “verbal fast”:
Fast from hurting words and say kind words.
Fast from sadness and be filled with gratitude.
Fast from anger and be filled with patience.
Fast from pessimism and be filled with hope.
Fast from worries and have trust in God.
Fast from complaints and contemplate simplicity.
Fast from bitterness and fill your hearts with joy.
Fast from selfishness and be compassionate to others.
Fast from grudges and be reconciled.
Fast from words and be silent so you can listen.
This Lenten fast has not been easy. I have found myself caught up in the ebbs and flows of life, often needing to pause and be aware of my feelings and their impact on my thoughts and emotions. I remind myself that this child inside me may also sense these feelings and thoughts. I hope to demonstrate to my child not to be afraid but to trust in God, acknowledging that I have no control over how my son will turn out. I remind myself to follow God’s will, trust, and simply follow.
I invite you to listen to listen to Trust In You by Lauren Daigle. May it help us grow in greater trust in God.
Amy Lee